A lot of you are probably wondering if we fell off the face of the earth by now. Where's all the updates? The Soap Saturdays? Is everyone OK??? Yes, to that last one, and I have no idea, to the other two.

Life with a preemie has been easy and challenging all at the same time. Here is a breakdown of the past four weeks of our life with Baby E.

Week 1:

The first week was obviously the hardest. Every day we had thoughts that we wanted to share with you all and blog about, but when you have two toddlers at home that you are unable to be with the majority of the day, well meaning people contacting you for updates, nice helpers organizing and dropping off meals, a husband/wife that you see almost as little as the toddlers, and a baby in NICU, you can be sure your days are filled to the brim and beyond.

Baby E. received wonderful care at the hospital he was transferred to, and our toddlers had wonderful caregivers at our house, which made everything a bit easier. But the emotional rollercoaster and the physical fatigue were a total bear to deal with every day. I finally hit my emotional wall on day 5. Up to that point, Baby E. had been making small improvements every day, but on day 5, he was having a tough time on many levels. I wrote in my notes,

• -Very dry skin.
• -Under strongest bilirubin light.
• -Still losing weight.
• -Not breastfeeding well. (Only trying once or twice a day.)
• -Gets cold easily. 

My notes continued with the dark thoughts,"I feel like he is slowly slipping from us, and that he'll never come home." I was very emotional that day, and being that I am not a very emotional person, not even during pregnancy, these thoughts caught me off guard. Nick, being the wonderful man that he is, reassured me that things were still going favorably, and that E. would surely be coming home in a few more days. Of course, he was right.

With having to leave E. at the hospital, I went home after the first night to sleep in my own bed since the hospital didn't have extra room for me.  Even though I woke up to pump every 3 hours, I think I slept fairly decent, which surely helped me recover faster. It became strangely "normal" to be walking around living life without a newborn at home, and seeing him at the hospital instead.

My first week after giving birth was interesting to say the least. I had to jump back into life right away to keep up with everything, despite the post-partum bleeding, afterbirth pains for the first 72 hours, getting my milk/pumping established, and dealing with engorgement. I was used to the post-partum stuff, but jumping into life so quickly was actually easier than I thought it would be. I even dropped a soap order off at the post office the day I was discharged! I was standing in line, waiting to step up to the counter and thinking, "Nobody knows that I just gave birth yesterday!" What can I say? You do what you've got to do!

The hospital took wonderful care of E., and of Nick and I too through each day. We finished out the week with Baby E. improving a little each day. The trips to the hospital and the routine we had, became more familiar and less a burden with the thought that E. would be home soon.

First Family Picture with Baby E

Week 2:
At the beginning of week two, we were able to take E. home! He spent the first 8 days of his life in the hospital, and we couldn't have been happier to have him at home. It was a joy introducing E. to his older brothers, and vice versa. S. wanted to hold E. the minute he laid eyes on him, and has held E. every day since. J. just smiled and pointed at E., and his favorite thing to do is to rub E.'s head. Sometimes the rubbing on the head gets a little too vigorous, so we keep a careful eye on the pair when they are near each other.

We had to bring E. out to have some blood drawn to check his bilirubin levels, but otherwise we were given strict instructions not to go anywhere with E. or let more than 2 people come to the house until January 1, 2014. The doctors were concerned about E. contracting a cold, or RSV, or other sicknesses, because it is the "season of giving" and with E.'s prematurity it just wasn't a good time of year to present a newborn to the world. This was ok with us, as we began settling into our new "normal" as a 5 person family. 

When we left the hospital, they'd been giving E. 1/2 tsp. of formula in 3 oz. of my breastmilk for the last two days of his stay, to try and help him to gain weight so he could go home. He is the only child of ours that has had formula. It made E. throw up after eating, and his diapers were so smelly, but he did gain an ounce or two, allowing him to be discharged. Once home, we gave him formula in his bottle-with-breastmilk feedings for about 24 hours, but he continued to throw up. I mean, like, whole stomach contents, kind of throwing up. We decided to take him off the formula for the next 24 hours to see if he would get better, and see if he'd gain weight without it. He did, so we stopped the formula entirely, and magically his diapers improved too. E. began gaining over 1 ounce per day at home. It made us feel so good, and we felt like we were doing things right.

Our family started settling in pretty well. Nick went to work for a few days, and I got my first taste of everyday life with 3 boys under the age of 2 1/2. E. was the easiest to take care of. Outside of feedings every 2-3 hours, he slept pretty much all day, and we never heard him cry. S. and J. however, were a different story. It wasn't that their behavior was different than it had been before E. came home, but they had gotten away with a lot of bad food choices and things we wouldn't normally let them do (like having the TV on every day), so they had to readjust to life with Mama home. This resulted in a lot of melt downs, crying, and overall complaining. 

My second week was much easier, physically. My body didn't have any residual post-partum issues outside of the normal bleeding (which will continue for another 4-6 weeks), and I was able to exclusively breastfeed E. about 48 hours after he came home. That made me feel better too, because I didn't need to use the breast pump more than once or twice a day, just to store some in the freezer. I was so glad I had a good quality pump to use when I needed it, but I was even happier once I didn't need it so often. Pumping took a lot of time! It gave me an appreciation for moms who pump milk every day for their babies because of returning to work or other unique circumstances.

At the end of the day Nick and I found ourselves extremely exhausted, (not too unlike most days) and we'd do our best to get caught up. We had house work to do, soap orders to fill, phone calls to make, bills to pay, etc. So much to do! But we were doing good, and we got to play with our sons and cuddle E. every night. We were together, and that's all that mattered.

Week 3:

Week 3 was about the same as week two. Another doctor visit for E., with another blood draw, and the rest of the week spent at home. Being at home so much was fine with me, but was beginning to take its toll. I like to get out at least once a week, even if it was to go grocery shopping, and to not be able to do even that much wasn't easy.

Trying to keep E. healthy meant having Nick do all the errands and be the only one going to and from the house. This put more burdens on Nick, and made his days longer. Mixed in with some cold weather and lots of rain. Yeah. Not fun. He never complained.

E. started gaining 2 oz. a day, clearly going through his first growth spurt. His little legs began to look less skinny, and the skull plates in his head began to fill in. E.'s clothes began fitting better too. His days were still spent doing the newborn thing of eat, sleep, poop, repeat. And still we never heard him cry. He is a very contented infant, all day, and all night. 

We had a TON of soap sell this week. Thankfully, most of the orders were fulfilled by Amazon, so we didn't need to do all the shipping ourselves. I guess lots of people are getting their Christmas shopping done. We started fretting a little about getting enough soap to Amazon's warehouses in time to keep the soap in inventory, while also having enough at the house for our own local customers and shipments off our website. Honestly, its a good thing when business is so good it makes you fret a little! 

S. and J. didn't have too bad of a week either. Every day S. had to hold "Bay Eee-Y (Baby E. for those of you who don't speak toddler). And J., well, he created enough fun of his own. That child has kept Nick and I hopping for weeks, climbing on chairs to get to everything he knows he isn't supposed to have. S. would sometimes join him, and then run away quick when they'd get caught, hoping he wouldn't be guilty by association. But, they are both great little men, and they keep our days interesting! 

Week 4

Today E. turned 1 month old. He is doing so well that he has already grown out of the preemie size clothing, and he weighed 7lbs. 6 oz. five days ago when I last weighed him. His cheeks have filled out, making his features more soft and not quite so angular. He's also beginning to manage to wrestle out of the blankets we wrap him in. This kid still barely makes a peep. We've heard him give a lusty squall only twice.Talk about easy going! 

The boys and I are going stir crazy being under "house arrest", per doctors orders. I told Nick that although I'm not a person who swears, this week has tried me beyond words can describe, and makes me want to use language I've never used before. With E. growing so well, he is staying awake slightly longer with each passing day. And while that is a good thing, it makes it harder to deal with our other two boys because E. wants to be held more often, and if I hold him, the other two take their chances to be especially mischievous. A certain toddler in particular, which I will leave unnamed, has been so hard to deal with. He's got a couple teeth coming in, which makes him more cranky than usual, and mixed with his inability to discern what he can do without getting in trouble, it makes for a lot of crying. 

The crying, mixed with not getting out of the house for a few weeks, and having at least 2 more weeks to go, is just...poopy. It will be so great when we can get out of the house for a while!

The soap orders are still coming in, and the shelves are getting even more bare every day. We've never had as good of a year as we have been having this year. And it had to happen on the year we have a newborn. Go figure. I'm not complaining, really. It's just a lot to handle all together.

The past few weeks, just like any other period after a newborn enters the house, is and has been about pure survival. Each week gets better in a lot of ways. Changes happen so fast, you don't even realize it until you look back at pictures. And thankfully we have a lot of pictures!

I'm glad we've weathered the first month so well. We have a lot to look forward to in the coming weeks with Christmas, getting out in public again, a visit by out of town family, going to church, and just enjoying the life God has blessed us with. Nick and I are so amazed at what we have. 

Now, if we can only find time to put up the tree in time for Christmas....